Down To The Wire!

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Close race overshadowed by franchise relocation.

April 17, 2024 by Bob

A very close two-team race for the championship has come down to last few games. With only two days to go, the Walking Birds hold a 16-point lead on the Dutch Ovens. The lead changed hands a couple of times in the last few weeks and only recently has it opened up a bit. It will be tough for the Ovens to come back, but not impossible, as they have 15 games remaining to the Birds’ 10 (if you leave off the bottom three on each team, it’s 12 games left to 8).

As you can see, the two contenders have had pretty even point totals for the past week, and also for the previous month, but the Walking Birds have a narrow 11-point lead this month. Points per game are practically tied.

Edit: Obviously I intended to get this out yesterday. With one day to go, the lead is 18 points, but the Dutch Ovens have 8 counting players playing today, to the Walking Birds 3 players. Can five players make up the 18-point gap? Yes, but it’s very unlikley.

As for the also-rans, there’s not much you can say about the Vegans and Albinos, who trail by almost 200 points. Surprisingly, the Aardvarks, usually a somewhat solid franchise, are 137 points back, in sixth place. They have really fallen off since owner Greg took up the hobby of trepanning. The laughable Minsk Uzbeks, the Savannah Bananas of our league, are in fifth place, and never threatened to win or to entertain. Camrose was in it for a while but faded to a 70-point deficit.

The big story down the stretch was the ongoing uncertainty surrounding the Kentville Moose. The team had a solid start, even grabbing first place at one point. But the strain of playing in a poor market in a small venue (the Hockey Hair Arena) has finally taken a toll. This franchise has moved three times in recent years, and now it can be confirmed that owner Phil Methot is moving them again, this time to Berwick, Nova Scotia. The hope is that the past failures will be forgotten and a new city will lead to a bigger fanbase. There is pressure to finally drop the “Moose” nickname that dates back to the Winnipeg Days, and get a fresh start. Methot is taking suggestions and a prize will be offered to the least offensive name.

Stay tuned for the final standings and an update on the ongoing Moose saga!

Second Waiver Draft Looms Menacingly!

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Super Bowl Draft February 11 May Tell the Tale!

February 10, 2024 by Bob.

It’s an unusually close and interesting Hockey Pool this year for some of us, while a few of the bottom-feeders have already given up and moved on to focus on their Scotties Tournament of Hearts Pools. The top of the standings is quite close, so the upcoming waiver draft might be instrumental in determining the winner.

Below, the standings today. The waiver order will be based on the standings tomorrow morning, so today’s games could also be a factor in how things play out. The last column, PT, is the number of players playing today. But most of those are bums on your team.

Standings

So how did we get here? Well, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they get married, and then about a year later, daddy joins a hockey pool so he has yet another excuse to go and drink beer with his friends. Golfing, fantasy sports, The Rotary Club, Doctors without Borders – all blatant excuses to go Bunburying. But as long as we have this thing, let’s see how it’s going.

At the start of the season, Methot’s Moose Nose Soups had a substantial and unsustainable lead. Then they started to go into a death spiral, resulting in the controversial firing of coach H.P. “Sauce” Lovecroft. Meanwhile the Dutch Bitches took the lead for quite a while, but eventually the powerhouse Turkeys (we used to call them “Walking Birds”) caught up and now maintain a narrow lead. Surprisingly, the Mooseheads came surging back in a big way. I can’t think of another case like that where a team was awful, fired the coach, and then were great afterwards. So the Moose are now second, the Ovens third, and Mark’s Solar Bears are lurking nearby, like an eager beaver. I would say that even Bill’s Uzbeks are not out of it yet, so it’s a pity that he has thrown in the towel and refuses to make trades. The top four teams are very close for February.

Interestingly, the Moose and Ovens both have acheived their lofty positions in the standings using the seldom-used strategy of putting all their eggs in one basket. The Dutch Ovens drafted Marner, Matthews, and Nylander with their first three picks. The Moose took Canucks with four of their first six picks and had five in all (Petterson, Miller, Hughes, Kuzmenko (now traded to Calgary), and Garland). Experts scoff at this approach, but it seemed to actually work for a while.

The first Waiver draft back in November was so fascinating that no one even remembers that we did it. But Mark kept records:

First Waiver, Round 1:

Bill dropped Backstrom and picked Dobson

Greg dropped Frost and picked Hronek

Paul dropped Couture and picked Vatrano

Pat dropped Johnson and picked Rust

Mark dropped Wheeler and picked Sanheim

Bob dropped Arvidson and picked Byfield

Ro dropped Kakko and picked Compher

Phil M pick to Greg who dropped Vilardi and picked Perfetti

Round 2:

Bill – Pass

Greg – Pass

Paul dropped Zagras and picked Strome

Pat dropped Hayton and picked Schwartz

Mark dropped Barbashev and picked Bjorkstrand

Bob dropped Burakovsky and picked Coyle

Phil Ro – Pass

Phil M - Pass

So Bill, Greg, Phil R and Phil M have two picks at the February waiver the rest of us have only the one. However, Methot has since traded his second pick in the second waiver to Mark. Unbelievable, I know! An actual trade!

The trade was Evander Kane to Phil in return for Rakell and Methot’s second pick in the upcoming waiver draft. Quite a risky move for Methot, who is almost in the lead and has never previously won a trade. Moreover, he had also traded his first pick in the fall draft to Greg, so he is trying to win this thing with only one waiver pick all year! It seems unsustainable.

The trade made before the first waiver was Moose’s first pick to the Aardvarks, along with Eriksson Ek, for Filip Forsberg. Greg dropped Valardi and picked up Perfetti with the pick. Perfetti has 30 points to Valardi’s 20 (due to games missed due to injury), so Greg is up ten points there. As for the live bodies moved, Ek has 40 points and Forsberg 51, so Phil gained 11. Seems like a fair trade.

The only other trade was also at the first waiver but didn’t involve picks. Bill traded Sam Bennett and his moustache to Bob for Ralph Backstrom. Backstrom may not play again, and Bill dropped him in the waiver as he had been planning to do with Bennett. Bennett hadn’t played all year until then, but is now back and tearing it up to the tune of 23 points, tied for last on the team. So he may get dropped this time. Analysis: Meaningless.

So who is still available to pick up in this waiver draft, and should you trade your pick to me?

Picklist as of February 10, sorted by points:

And sorted by Points Per Game. Note that the Rank number of each player in column 1 is still by their points.

Picklist

Maybe we can have a chat tonight during Hockey Night in Canada to hash out some trades. It’s Leafs vs. Senators and Oilers vs. Kings. Should be a David Rittich sighting!

Other Random Thoughts:

  • Brady Tkachuk is a good player, and funny in that commercial, but I find it hard to take anyone seriously who is a dead ringer for Stewie Griffin’s evil brother Bertrand.
  • You have to admire the Amazing Canucks, unless you hate them, which about 80% of Calgarians do. I like them. A young guy I play hockey with is a big fan, and we talked about them last year and couldn’t understand why they were so bad when they seemed to have all the ingredients of a really good team – a star centre, a scoring winger, a top defenseman, and a great goalie. Looks like the missing ingredient was the coach. Remember last year there was talk of trading a bunch of guys like JT Miller and even Demko? That would have been a huge mistake. Nice to see them pick up Lindstrom.
  • Canucks have a GREAT third line – Teddy Blueger, Dakota Joshua, and Little Connor Garland. They are absolutely dominant! I always liked Garland, and although he makes a lot of money for a third-liner, he is perfect in that role. A real play-driving forward who creates a lot of chances.
  • Do the Bufffalo Sabres really play out of the Tea Bag Center?
  • Shout At Clouds of the Week: I watch quite a few highlights of NHL games, so I get to hear all the different broadcast crews. Wow, some of them are bad! A few are just boring or the kind of guys who refuse to acknowledge when the visiting team has scored by even raising their voices, but some just drive me crazy. The worst ones are the fawning homers who call all the home players by their first names or even nicknames. Colorado is bad for this (“It’s Cale, over to the Moose, and Nate Dog scores on the rebound!” (Not an actual quote, but you get the idea.)). The other day the Boston crew kept mispronouncing names of some of the Flames. The NHL has a name pronounciation guide with audio samples, so this is unforgivable. Besides, Weegar has been in the league for years and played in the same division as the Bruins, so how do you get his name wrong? Also the colour guy has a Boston accent. By far the worst crew is Washington’s. Boring, homers, nicknames, the works. They actually call goalie Charlie Lindgren – brace yourselves – “Chucky Sideburns”!
  • And the Avalanche play in the Ball Arena?
  • There was talk a while ago of making changes to the overtime rules. Three-on-three has gotten a little stale in some ways, but the biggest problem is that it’s too short. I’d like to see ten minutes, and the shootout would almost disappear. Plus teams would have to use a few different skaters. Then just do a sudden death (on even shots) shootout. (Like all right-thinking people, I don’t like the shootout.)
  • Should the Oilers’ winning streak have counted as the NHL record (if they had won a couple more games) with a shootout win in there? No. (I don’t like the shootout.)

Chat tonight! Drink beer, make trades!

It’s . . . . . . .

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If You Could Read My Hockey Pool, 2023-2024

. . . . time for the Hockey Pool again!!

Posted November 18, 2023

Actually it’s well past time. It’s even past Tea Time. In fact, tomorrow is the first waiver draft already! Why does one wait until the last minute, sitting around watching television (or “TV”) in your underwear and accomplishing nothing? I don’t know; one would have to ask one. Probably one is lazy and stupid, but that doesnt explain why he isn’t wearing any trousers.

Anyway, it has been over a year since I posted anything. Did we have a hockey pool last year? We did. Did someone win it? Yes. Who? Who cares!! That was last year.

My excuse for not posting is that I’ve been really busy with a fascinating new hobby I picked up during the pandemic – drinking. Have you tried it? It’s fun, but it really makes it hard to keep up with your other commitments.

The important thing is we did have our draft this year, and we already have standings and everything.

Standings as of Saturday morning, November 18, 2023 – one day before the waiver draft.

The most intesting column for waiver purposes is the last one, injuries. Some of us really need those picks, and some, like me, would be interested in trading for an extra pick.

Feast your eyes on who’s available to pick – a veritable killer’s row of great hockey players, plus Frank Vatrano.

That is just everyone down to 0.80 points per game. The list goes on and on, with each player just a little worse than the one before. The last column is last’s year’s total points, which tops out at 56 points for Reilly Smith. That is 0.7 ppg, so everyone on this list might be overachieving just a bit.

Get your list of drops in to Mark on Sunday the 19th. Note that the standings and picklist might change a bit before the draft.

Remember, if you don’t feel you need a waiver pick, I am ready to trade. Well, I’m not actually ready, but I could wing it I guess.

I will try to post some information about the last couple of years soon, plus some photos from our recent golf adventures and trophy presentations.

Aardvarks Cruise to Championship; Win Back-to-Back Titles for the First Time!

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May 7, 2022

Greg’s Hoboken Screaming Aardvarks have won the championship by a convincing 42-point margin in the Stone Dead Hockey Pool.

The Aards won a record 13th Pool, by far the most in league history. They are back-to-back winners for the first time ever. After their first eleven victories they failed to follow up with a second win, and in fact they usually kind of sucked. So congratulations.

Here are the final standings. Pat finished a distant second, and will have the first pick in next year’s draft. Vegas odds are 54% McDavid, 46% Draisaitl.

Last year I failed to do any kind of wrap-up but I teased it all this season, and yes it is true that Greg also won last year.

More analysis and etc. to come in the big final article. If I have time.

The Final Waiver Draft

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February 16, 2022

We had pretty good participation in the Super Bowl Waiver Draft. By that I mean that me and Greg did a little research and a list, and five guys replied to the email telling me to go ahead and do all the work for them. In fairness, a couple of them did specify who they wanted to drop, although no one seemed to care who they picked up, or know how many picks they had. Phil Methot and Kyle did not respond at all. I did all the work for them too, as I’m sure that’s what they would want, and they are so far back it makes little to no difference.

The waiver was done February 16 but using the stats from after the February 13 games.

Interestingly, the top five teams in the standings are the ones who used two picks in the first waiver, so only the four bottom-feeders had two picks in this one. This supports my theory that the best waiver strategy is to blow your wad in the first waiver by making two picks, regardless of injuries or lack thereof. If you don’t, by the time of the second waiver you will be a bottom-feeder, sucking the sludge from the mud at the bottom of the pond like a disgusting catfish, but with shorter whiskers.

When I picked Lundell, Jenner and Rodriguez were still available higher on the picklist. But Greg would have got Bunting using the picklist anyway as he was up next. Greg must be really serious about winning this thing too, as he didn’t include a dead player on his list for the first time in history.

Standings before Waiver, February 16

Standings after Waiver, February 16

So no one moved in the standings, although it is a little closer. There’s enough time left that any of the top few (non-bottom-sucking) teams could still win. Here’s the key look at the standings with points behind leader, games played, games remaining, games missed, and points per game:

So Greg’s stats aren’t any better than those of a couple of the other teams. Injuries may tell the tale. There is also still time for trades – the trading deadline is March 21.

Next time: A recap of the season last year, if we had one.

Trade #2 In The Books!

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December 2, 2021

According to a text I got today from Uzbeks owner Bill Mines, a trade has been completed between Minsk and Phil Ro’s St. Albert Dutch Ovens:

Bill trades Robertson (first name and team unknown) and Puljujarvi (spelling an approximation only) to Ro for Clayton Keller and Tyler Toffolli. Of course, all I have to prove that the trade happened is a screenshot of a text, allegedly between Bill and Ro, that Bill sent me. It could just be Bill messing around with multiple accounts on his phone. But it’s good enough for me.

Some diligent research by me tells us that it is Jason Robertson of Dallas that Bill traded, along with Jesse P. of the Oilers. It is well-known that Ro is an unabashed Oiler-lover, blinded to analytics and logic when it comes to the home team. So you can always unload a 21st-round pick like Puljujarvi on him for grossly inflated prices.

However! That didn’t happen. One factor is that JP is actually producing pretty well this year. The other is that Bill is a well-know Keller-lover, blinded to logic and sense when it comes to any small American player like Keller. (Is Keller American? I’m going to assume he is.)

Anyway, Keller is also having a good season, and the trade looks pretty even.

Keller 15 points, Toffoli 15 points. Ro gives up 30 points.

Robertson 15 points, JP 17 points. Bill gives up 32 points. So Ro is up two points as of right this instant. Unless there are games happening now. Applying my keen analytical mind to this swap, I find that, all things considered, I just don’t care.

Bill goes down from 310 to 308 points, remaining in third place. Ro, on the other hand, goes up to 322 points from 320, breaking a tie with Pat’s Albinos, and grabbing first place. But it’s a very close race!

A seemingly minor trade like this could end up being the difference in the end. Time will tell!

Waiverpocalypse!

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November 25, 2021

OK, the first waiver draft is in the books. Also, we have had the first trade completed. Too much excitement!!

Here were the standings on Sunday morning, November 21, which determine the order of the draft (reverse of standings):

It’s been very close so far, and in recent weeks I think only the Aardvarks and Uzbeks have held the lead. This is likely what has suppressed the number of trades so far. Plus sheer cussed laziness. Everyone thinks they have a chance with their current roster if only their injured guys would come back. Well, they won’t.

The Draft:

Look at all those Ducks! I’m a little skeptical on them myself. But what do I know?

Here are the standings before and after the draft was done, on Thursday November 25.

Before:

After:

As usual it’s hard to tell who done well when some guys used two picks and some just one pick. Bill only fell back by two points compared to Greg, but three teams, all of whom made two waiver picks, passed him. Mark and Paul also did well.

By the way, here are the picks left in the second waiver:

2 picks: Phil M., Mark, Bill, Kyle.

1 pick: Bob, Greg, Paul, Pat, Phil R.

But you could have figured that out for yourself.

Even though several of us made our own custom lists to pick from, the draft followed the November 21 Picklist pretty closely. In 14 picks we took the top 13 players available, skipped #14, and took 15. Number 14, the highest-rated undrafted skater, was Oliver Kylington. However, just since Sunday, Kylington has been overtaken by Evan Rodrigues, Boone Jenner, Tage Thompson, Sonny Milano, Alex Goligoski, Anthony Cirelli, Marcus Foligno, and Rasmus Asplund. Pretty astute of us not to take Kylington! Although all those guys except Asplund also overtook Greg’s pick, Brent Burns. Not so astute!

So I was pretty determined to stick to doing the draft on Sunday whether everyone had their lists in or not. But laziness trumps determination as usual and I didn’t get it started. Roeleveld’s list came in on Monday morning, and rather than DQ him and have to face a riled-up lummox, I instead tried to contact Bill and Kyle to see where in the world their lists were. Bill got his done eventually, but I wasn’t able to get in touch with Kyle, despite minutes of trying. So I made the executive decision to drop his lowest skater for the highest guy on the picklist, and leave him with two picks for the second waiver. WHICH IS ON SUPER BOWL SUNDAY!! I swear, I’m not waiting this time! For realsies!!

I know you hockey pool completeness fanatics can’t wait to see the lists from everyone who didn’t rely on the Picklist, so here they are:

Phil M. 1. Matt Duchene. (He took a chance and only listed one pick, but it worked out somehow.)

Mark. 1. Duchene, 2. Terry, 3. Kyrou, 4. Getzlaf.

Phil Ro. 1. Terry 2. Duchene 3. Kyrou 4. Getzlaf 5. Raymond 6. Thomas 7. Henrique 8. Shattenkirk 9. Hartman 10. Fowler 11. Gostisbehere 12. Seider 13. Burns 14. Mercer 15. Kylington. A couple more guys than could possibly be needed.

Bob. 1. Kyrou 2. Terry 3. Duchene 4.Thomas 5. Raymond 6. Getzlaf 7. Hartman 8. Mercer 9. Henrique 10. Gostisbehere 11. Fowler 12. Burns 13. Seider.

Bill. “Remove Getzlaf and all defensemen, rate the two St. Louis guys first, then follow the picklist.”

Greg. 1. Terry 2. Getzlaf 3. Kyrou 4. Duchene 5. Thomas 6. Shattenkirk 7. Hartman 8. Raymond 9. Seider 10. Fowler 11. Burns 12 Henrique 13. Mercer 14. Kerfoot 15. Jenner 16. Cirelli 17. Schmidt 18. Wennberg 19. Coyle 20. Cully Wilson. Wilson (born Karl Wilhons Erlendson in Winnipeg in 1892) is the first old-timer on one of Greg’s lists that I had to look up. Pretty obscure!

The Trade: Phil M’s Kentville Moose send Elias Petterson (drafted in the 5th round) and Evgeni Malkin (11th round) to Bob’s Istanbul Walking Birds for John Carlson (4th) and Cole Caulfield (15th). Caulfield and Malkin were both in the respective bottom threes – Malkin because he is injured and hasn’t played yet, and Caulfield for some other reason. The trade will turn on whether Malkin can come back and climb out of the bottom three. Maybe Caulfield will too but it looks unlikely. Carlson is killing Petterson right now too so Petterson will have to pick up his hockey socks.

On Sunday, it stood at 14 points for Carlson to 10 for Petterson, and Caulfield had 1 to Malkin’s 0. Now, Carlson is up to 18 and Caulfield to 2, whereas Petterson is still at 10. After posting the trade today, Kentville went up 8 points (but still in last place) and Istanbul went down 8, falling behind Minsk to fifth place.

That’s it!

Next: Did we have even have a pool last year? Did anyone win it?

Waiver Chaos!!

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November 16, 2021

Look what snuck up on us! Well, maybe just me. But believe it or not, the first waiver draft goes this Sunday, November 21, at Tea Time. I know you are all so used to having the waiver during the Grey Cup game that you forgot about it, since the big game is postponed this year.

You need to do your waiver research, because the pool is very close this year, and everyone has a chance. Also, there is a real danger that if you don’t pull up your hockey socks, Greg might win again. Or even Bill.

If you study our rosters this year one thing really stands out: No one has Troy Terry! That’s right, Terry is available in the waiver draft! Projections show that in about three weeks he will be winning the scoring race.

Picklist, November 16, 2021, down to ten points. That’s a pretty good upgrade for your pathetic squad.

You all know the format, etc. I will send out an updated list of the available players on Saturday if I don’t get distracted by something shiny and forget. As usual, if you want to tell me who you want to drop (one or two names, or your one or two lowest scorers) I can pick from the list for you. Or you can send in your own list. HOWEVER, if I don’t get any instructions from you, you will forfeit one waiver pick and just have the two picks left for the second waiver. The draft will be completed on Sunday.

Next time: Trade updates; Analysis of the NHL season; Did someone win the thing last year or what?

Brotherspool 2021-2022: Stone Dead

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October 16, 2021

The pool is up and running at Officepools and the excitement is palpable. I palped it a bit myself just yesterday. So far, I am again running away with it and will cruise to a comfortable victory, as always.

I actually was winning after the first couple of days but then Phil Methot’s Kentville Moose Noses edged ahead. Right now, as I check the live scoring update halfway through the Saturday Night games, Kyle’s amazing Koln Komets have jumped ahead with a big night. But it’s early.

So the big news this year is that we decided to try a new draft format; one that completely takes all skill, knowledge, and effort out of the draft. It should suit us perfectly. What we did was take just one draft list (namely Dobber Hockey’s projected top scorers) and just did the whole draft from that list! No one had to do anything, we didn’t have to get together, and we really don’t even have to talk to each other. It’s perfect!

Of course the result is that everyone gets a team that they had no say in drafting. You might get a bunch of guys you really didn’t want, or five guys from one team, or ten defensemen. HOWEVER, that is good! It forces the owners to make trades to get the roster they want! Nothing could be more neat and scientific.

There were a couple of issues with the rosters. Dobber included Jack Eichel and Evander Kane on their list. For complicated reasons having to do with my stupidity and laziness, we had to let them get drafted. Of course, they are not rated as high as they would be if they were playing. So Paul (Eichel) and Pat (Kane) have to decide if they want to keep them for now, trade them, or maybe have to drop them in the waiver.

Pat also got Brady Tkachuk, who wasn’t signed at the time, but that one worked out OK.

Other season details: The first Waiver Draft will be Sunday November 21, which is when the Grey Cup should be played, and the second one on Sunday February 13 (Super Bowl Sunday). As usual, everyone will have three picks split over the two drafts. Owners can use either one or two picks in the first draft, and the remainder in the second. Waiver picks CAN be traded.

The trade deadline is the same as the NHL one, Monday March 21, 2022, about Tea Time.

The Dobber Hockey list that we used has 836 players on it! I will send it to the owners in an email, since I’m sure you are interested to see where Nick Seeler and Antoine Morand are ranked. It might actually be helpful in your intensive waiver draft research.

So what about the pool name? Stone Dead Hockey Pool is courtesy of Greg, and of course refers to the death of Charlie Watts. The slogan is “You Can’t Always Draft Who You Want” which, admit it, is clever! Also Greg’s. I argued for a Norm MacDonald Pool theme. I’m a big Norm fan, and there would have been lots of material to work with. Besides, what do we do when Jagger dies, or (very unlikely of course) Richards? Greg has already shot his Stone Dead wad! Anyway we went with Stone Dead. You had no say in the matter, as usual.

Next Post: So what happened last year? Did someone actually win the thing?